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In keeping with my ranting about aggravating animals in fantasy, I think I shall rant about horses.  The second most overly romanticized and anthropomorphized animal galloping around DA, second only to wolves.  And heck, the ol' Equus Absurdus may give Lupus Bardus a run for his money.  This will be less pointing out ineptitude in storytelling and rampant cliche, and more about doing your friggin' homework before you write or draw horses.  And watching Spirit doesn't count.

I'll be pretty blunt about the art side of things.  Horses are Hard To Draw, and they are the Gods of being Hard To Draw.  The only thing that I think might be harder is dinosaurs.  (She said smugly.)  Or possibly deer.  When the grand masters of the Renaissance and contemporary master artists alike are stumped by rendering the correct pose of horses in flight, you bow before the king of hard art.  Because everyone who sees you screw it up is gonna know it, especially those who have done the research.  (Or those worst of smug sorts: equestrians, who don't need to be able to hold a pencil to know your 40-hour stallion picture is either cross firing or suffering a heart attack.)  Even Spirit needed experts; and having said that, the only thing you could do worse is reference My Little Pony.  Long, arduous hours await the equine artist, and while you can pull-off a half-assed wolf or whatever, it's extremely difficult to make a half-assed horse look even ... half-assed.  Mostly it's whole ass.  (Equine joke, get it?) It's very easy to fail, and fail on a great scale.  Many horsie pictures deserve the MASSIVE FAIL watermark.  Where are ya on that one, DA?

Anyway, moving onto horses in fantasy.  The straight-up idiot will treat them like cars.  You can gallop all day, let them graze at night, and wake up feeling perfectly refreshed in the morning.  And on top of that, the horse will either be a true-blue companion or an utter bundle of useless, bolting nerves.  The person who does mild research will realize how colic and such happens, but will probably screw up the names of tack pieces and even the parts of the horse.  It's very rare to see anyone do the research from history, and if you're really lucky, you'll get someone who rides or is familiar with horses to some degree.  

But fear not, because I can give a nice, long sarcastic list of quick reference for fantasy riders ... er, writers.  

Mares - were moody, but excellent for raiding, because they are not likely to whinny at strange horses.  Also, if they're in heat, and your enemy is riding stallions, you have a serious butchering advantage.  Bedouin riders called their raiding horses "daughters of the wind" and preferred mares for the very reasons just listed.

Geldings were castrated stallions.  The phenomenon of being "proud cut" is when a horse is castrated too late in life, and still retains all the traits of being a stud.

Stallions don't like other stallions.  Hell, some of them will kill other geldings.  There exceptions in temperament among every breed, but by and large a stud's first rule is "handle with care."  Stallions who smell mares will, for the most part, throw every other thought out of their heads when mares in heat are near. They will climb fences and bust heads.  A lot of fantasy authors tend to make stallions the ideal warhorse, and maybe they were, but I've never seen a knight dumped into the mud while his valiant steed hops a fence for a peasant mare.  (I'd like to, though.)  In George R. R. Martin's A Game of Thrones, there was a scene where a a pair of knights joust, one on a mare in heat, the other on a stallion.  Best.  Joust.  Ever.  'Nuff said.

Now, medieval terms for horsies!  Cause breeds weren't really necessarily established in the Dark Ages to Renaissance.  (As a quick example, Rottweilers were called "rottweiler metzgerhunds", which means literally "the red-tile butcher's dog".  They came from a town noted for their red-tile roofs, and worked cattle, hence the name.  That's about as specific as one could expect for the time.)

Rounceys or hacks were simple riding horses.  Grade blooded animals for the most part.  If a peasant was lucky enough to own one, keep in mind that horses were harder to maintain then oxen, which could do plowing/pulling.  Hacks in a fantasy setting would probably be seen in inns as rent-able mounts, pulling merchant and gypsy caravans, or as a mount for a guard or other low-ranked individual.  Hack means "to ride", and that's what they were meant for.  Which means no training other than bit and saddle.  These are the sorts that will probably spook at nothing, bolt, or kill their rider running under a tree in panic.

Coursers were long-legged hunter/jumpers and runners, precursors to the modern Thoroughbred.  They were very highly prized (and still are), and would be seen in a hunting/racing situation or possibly a messenger's mount.  Coursers were extremely expensive, and being caught with one that didn't belong to you would be grounds for hanging if you were a peasant.  So resist the temptation to have your orphan protagonist companion to a noble, gazelle-like sort, because it would be the equivalent of stealing a Lamborghini.  All horses pulled their weight, and coursers were no exception, but keep in mind that nobility were the only class that could afford to splurge.  As far as training, coursers would probably be more inclined to take a jump, but they could spook as much as any rouncey.

Draft horses were not warhorses!  They were bred to pull plows and carriages and sledges.  Most were bred in very cold areas, and so have the heavy coat as result.  Barrels full of beer could kill a man if it fell on one, so imagine if you were a brewer who needed twenty of them sent somewhere.  That's what draft horses were for.  Again, they would eat a lot, so very poor families would probably have oxen instead.  Low-class merchants and up would probably have a pair of drafts.  Drafts would be trained to harness and yoke, but by the inclination of the breed, most drafts are not bolters.  They cannot outrun predators, so they are more inclined to stand their ground and kick or bite.  Drafts tend to be very mild-mannered, i.e. "gentle giants", and so are ill-suited to warhorse aggression.

Destriers were warhorses!  Also called greathorses.  Standing about 15-17 hands, mostly.  (A hand is four inches.)  Andalusian and many breeds seen in dressage like Lippazaners and Dutch Warmbloods were warhorses.  "Warm-bloods" means a cross between the small, fierce breeds like the Arabian, "hot-bloods" and the large, slow drafts, "cold-bloods": the perfect middle ground.  Dressage is a throwback to all of the training warhorses underwent.  To survive battle, your horse had to be perfectly attuned to your desires in order to keep you alive.  Destriers had extremely high levels of training: they could be ridden without reins and controlled entirely by the legs, including being told when to kick and with which set of legs.  A lot of warhorse training is glossed over, with the exception of the charge.  Every warhorse has to be able to charge.  

Keep in mind that the stirrup wasn't invented until the Middle Ages and the invention thereof gave rise to the knight, but that Roman cavalry came waaaay before and perfected dressage/cavalry tactics even before that!  Destriers were very, very expensive and highly prized, and that while some cultures thought the stallion was better, mares are not exempt from being destriers.  Most often a knight rode a courser or sometimes a rouncey, and kept his destrier fresh for the coming battle.  (And being a knight, you could actually afford that.)  Also keep in mind that knights in full armor were not so heavy that they couldn't move if they got knocked off their horses; medieval armor weighed about as much as a modern-day soldier wears into battle, roughly 70lbs or so.  So the idea that a draft was needed to carry the weight is kinda ... wrong.

Jennets or palfries were gaited horses and quiet/ladies horses, respectively.  Often they were lumped together.  Jennets made for an extremely smooth ride and were preferred by those who used sidesaddles (basically: women.)  Jennets were also called "amblers" for their way of moving in a lateral gait or rack.  Priests and friars, when they weren't riding mules or donkeys, rode palfries.  Ill or delicate individuals rode palfries (singular palfrey).  The Spanish Jennet in particular was a precursor to the Paso Fino and Peruvian Paso.  As far as training, palfries would be the least likely to spook, because they would have been trained for that express purpose.  Palfries would probably be older or retired horses, or horses extremely quiet in temperament to begin with.






I find myself oscillating between hating the horse-like-a-dog motif and despising the horse-is-not-alive motif.  Ah, what the heck, I can hate them both!  Horses are horses, they are not cows or dogs or some other animal you decide to substitute as a fantasy rider because you've never actually ridden a horse.  Or saddled one.  Or taken care of one.  Petting a horse does not make you an expert.  If you are writing fantasy, at least do your research.  Talk to people who own horses and visit a stable or two.

The horse-like-a-dog motif is the "noble steed" complex; the hero's horse defends him from assassins, drags him to the fire in a rain storm, and follows him freely.  Real horses are capable of loyalty and affection, don't get me wrong, but just don't stake your life on your horse choosing you over a bucket of oats after a workout.  Prey animals simply prioritize differently from predators.  On the flip side, horses are not unfeeling creatures; as a rule, they're extremely sensitive physically speaking.  Their skin can detect changes in wind currents and they have nearly 360 degrees vision scope.  Also, horses can overheat and run themselves to exhaustion very easily, unless they've been trained for it (as in a racehorse trained to run or an endurance horse trained to keep an effortless trot for hours.)  Horses that are worked hard, then promptly fed and watered will probably colic.  So don't have your hero gallop his horse to camp and feed it without a second thought, because I'll be expecting a dead horse in the morning.

Here are some more medieval terms for equine ignoramuses.  Starting with the people who handled horses:

Hostlers were grooms or handlers of horses, usually a breeder or someone of some repute, as opposed to a stableboy.  For example, if a mare was having a bad birth or a foal's confirmation needed to be judged, the noble would probably consult the hostler's advice.  Hostlers were also trainers, by and large.

Farrier was another name for a blacksmith, but it specifically means someone who trims hooves and shoes horses.  All farriers were blacksmiths, speaking medievally, but not all blacksmiths were farriers.

And moving on to tack:

Know the parts of your saddle.  The front was called the pommel, the back was called the cantle.  Jousting saddles had a high cantle so that a knight struck by a lance would not fly right off his horse's backside.  (Also, do NOT put a saddle horn in a medieval setting, it came way, way later and was intended to drape a lariat over.)  The seat of a saddle is, duh, where you sit.  The most oft overlooked part of the saddle is the tree or framework.  Trees had to be sized for horses, were made of wood, and covered in leather.  If a horse fell over backward, they would probably break the tree and ruin the saddle.  (Not to mention probably suffer a back injury in the process.)

Know the parts of your bridle.  The bit is the metal dealie that goes in the horse's mouth.  Not every culture used bits, mind you! Hackamores used pressure points on the face and the muzzle to basically do the same thing a bit did; also called a bosal, sidepull, or in medieval times as a jaquima (in Spain) or a sakama (among Moors and the like.)  The throatlatch was a strap that wasn't always there, but it it buckled loosely beneath the cheeks of the horse to stop the bridle from being able to slide completely off.

Barding was horse armor!  (It was not called horse armor; it was called barding.  Wardogs also wore barding, and sometimes had wicked cool spiked collars or spears strapped to their shoulders, but we're getting off the subject.)  A full suit of barding was Expensive with a capital E, and probably not super-comfortable, since it probably would have been cast with a general size in mind.  (Not for a specific animal.)  More common barding would have been leather and chain mail, rather than plate.

The chanfron was the horse's helmet, and could be made of leather or plate.  It is also often called a champron, chamfrein, shaffron, chanfroin, or chenfron, because all these crazy European folks were running around at the time.  If a horse had a horn on its helmet, it was affixed to a rondel, or a flat, round metal stud.

The crinet is the ridged scales of overlapping armor running down the horse's neck, also called criniere or manefaire.  Chain mail could be affixed to the crinet to cover the flesh of the horse's neck.

The croupiere protected the hindquarters (akin to the crupper, a piece of harness that passes beneath the tail, and the two words are related), while the flanchard  protected the flanks of the horse, and the peytral protected the chest.

If your horse wears the pretty flowing cloth seen in jousting matches and decorated with heraldic symbols, your horse is sporting a caparison.  These cloths were part barding in and of themselves, usually heavy textile weave that could stop a spearpoint.  Also, even the reins had armor, so they could not be cut!  They would have metal coverings or be draped in chain mail.

And moving onto weaponry used on horseback:

The lance made the knight a deadly force on the battle field.  Please note that if you have Apache warriors charging with javelins, it is going to be an extremely wimpy charge.  What made the lance deadly?  The stirrup!  Roman cavalry had no stirrups; it was invented later.  (And don't ask me who didn't think that one up right off the bat, but it's true.  I sure as heck wouldn't have wanted to be in Alexander the Great's cavalry ranks.)  If you are part of a charge, look out for pikeman.  They will gut you.

Certain bows were created to be used from horseback.  Normal bows like longbows draw in the middle of the bow; horseback bows were very tall and draw closer to the bottom of the bow.  This was because the bottom part of the bow couldn't hit the ground or strike a stirrup while being drawn, but still needed power to make the shaft effectively kill-y.  (If you have ever seen the movie The Last Samurai, one of the young warriors in the movie uses a fairly accurate horse bow.)

What Would Happen In Battle
First of all, do not ever, EVER have a character get kicked or bitten by a horse and walk away fine.  First, horses can tear skin open and break bone by biting, and tear off fingers if they've half a mind to.  (This includes little ones, too, like ponies and burros.)  If your fingers tangle in the reins and the horse bolts, you can also look at losing some fingers.  A kick to the head can kill you, and if the hoof is metal-shod, it can cut and crush.  You could lose the top of your head to a slashing hoof, and don't even get me started on the shoes crafted with spikes!  (They doubled as a way for the horse to have extra traction in mud.)
Second, horses have to be TRAINED TO TRAMPLE.  A horse's natural instinct is to protect their feet; a prey animals natural reaction to keep what will save their life intact and whole.  Cattle trample naturally; even horses in a panic that have room to run will dodge someone standing in the middle of the stampede with their hands outspread.  (I, uh, wouldn't recommend it in an extremely narrow channel.  You won't get the same results.)  Therefore, a warhorse will trample and stomp because it has been trained to, but a regular riding horse won't.
Third, armor is not carte' blanche to injury.  Armor does not equal invulnerability!  Can I say that again?  You can die fully armored without ever having the armor breached.  How?  The large majority of folks who survive the battlefield end up dying a couple of days later from internal bleeding.  If you're hit with a giant maul warhammer, your armor will stop you from getting impaled, but the kinetic force will still be transferred by the blow.  Later armor was engineered to basically  absorb the damage, and could even withstand bullets (hence the term "bulletproof", in which armor would be tested to withstand black powder discharges), but that was late 14th-15th century, not Dark Ages.  So if your hero gets slammed by a warhorse and trampled underfoot, they can still die.  At the very least they had better be very, VERY bruised, extremely lucky, and possibly with spinal damage or dislocated limbs.
Fourth, a charge was a trained maneuver and was very freaking scary to be on the receiving end of.  Battle was all about outmaneuvering the enemy, and cavalry's job was to outflank an enemy, or hit from a vulnerable or weak side.  (Also, don't mistake cavalry, mounted force, for Calvary, the hill where Christ was crucified.  It makes you look really stupid.)  Infantry that gets charged from behind by giant, multi-ton armored warhorses trampling everything underfoot is guaranteed to break.  When a horse steps on you, it's a bone-breaking disaster; the idea of facing down a line of mounted knights is downright piss-your-pants terrifying.  So, unless you have a trick up your sleeve like Braveheart did, please don't have your hero coolly watch the oncoming horde and calculate how to take the first guy from the saddle.

So there.  I don't want to read about any more flouncey horses floating blissfully through battle simply because they are a horse.  In fact, I don't want to see any more stupid fantasy horses ever.  You have no excuse after reading this!
Here are my horse rants, so all of you can fave it and stop secretly crying yourself to sleep at night for not being able to fave those awesome rants by Droemar ...
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:iconnekonotaishou:
nekonotaishou Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2013  Student Filmographer
I hadn't realized fantasy horses were quite that bad, but thinking back, I now realize the truth. Thank you :)
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:iconmartingreywolf:
MartinGreywolf Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2013
Well, you have some points wrong here:
1) Height
Medieval warhorses (that is, destriers) were 14 hands tall, on average, with biggest ones peaking at 16 (Medieval horse and its Equipment by Museum of London). True, they grew larger later, but even in 17th century, Polish Winged Hussars having 17 hand tall horses is spoken of as unusually high (Winged Hussars by Osprey).

2) Stirrups
They were invented earlier, but that is besides the point. Main issue is they didnīt give rise to knights as a class, they (knight-like class) existed much earlier, as early as late (western) Roman Empire, look up Ordo Equestriis. Charlemange (I think) did indeed give land to nobles under the condition that they will fight in "new way", but he was likely referring to couched lance, not stirrups.

3) Armor weight
A bit nitpicky, but 70 lbs is way too heavy for just armor. Entire equipment did weight that much, but not armor alone. I could go into more detail about it, but thatīs not really the focus.

4) Barding
Not a mistake, but perhaps the fact that there was a "horse gambeson" bears mentioning. Plate or mail on bare horse skin would be a very bad idea.

5) Lance and Stirrup
No. Practical experience says otherwise. See this article: [link]

Also, lance is a terrible weapon for when your charge is stopped, thatīs why knights had swords/maces/axes/whatever. Not to mention that lance charge in a single, unified line was almost never seen. First to pull it off regularly were Templars (and later monastic orders), and they are specifically mentioned by period authors as being awesome because of it. You need people to actually drill a formation like that, and if you can get 20 or more nobles to do it on regular basis, you should go ahead and achieve that world peace already...

6) Charges and their dangers
A charge can be stopped by well-disciplined infantry, even without pikes. Some will get injured or killed (mostly if horses decide to slam into them, lance is a scary weapon, but a shield will deflect it), but cavalry will be a lot worse off, if for nothing else, then because one guy on a horse takes same space from the front as three without, and isnīt able to do a proper shield-wall.

That said, good luck finding disciplined infantry in a day and age without any standing army at all, and only professional warriors being the ones on a horse.

7) Awesomeness of infantry
A trained human can outmarch a horse over long distances (measured in days, rather than hours) even on plains, let alone in some terrain that forces horses to take detours. It happened several times.

Apart from this, really good article though, we need to move on from Eragon and his zombie horses...
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:iconshannor:
shannor Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Interesting rant.

I can agree that being stepped on by a horse can be very painful, but isn't always painful. I've had two horses step on my foot. The larger, heavier horse was unshod and I was wearing soft suede boots, standing on hard packed dirt, and it didn't even bruise. The lighter horse was shod, and did a turn on the forehand on my foot, this time in riding boots on good to firm turf - I was limping for about a week, but wasn't too badly hurt.

I will say, however, that some people could stand in front of a charge of heavy horse and feel only a wee bit worried by it, but that those people were typically battle hardened individuals with a lot of experience at facing down cavalry charges.

Having trained as a squire myself, I no longer get that panic that comes from having a knight with a lance in hand charging at me. I held small targets like rings the diameter of tea saucers for the knights to lance at. If anyone not battle hardened as a pikeman is likely to stand in front of a charge of heavy horse and only have this tiny corner of his brain shouting 'oh god why?!', it's going to be squires and knights.

I'd like to note that super high cantles very likely caused significant back injuries among jousters. Having your rear end stuck in the saddle with your top half unsupported leaves you at high risk for some nasty injuries.

I also want to note that a smart knight has a smooth shield, not a rough surfaced one. If a weapon catches on your shield in a charge, you'll know about it, and you're likely to be unhorsed. Smooth shields allow you to deflect the blow, rather than be flattened by it.
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:iconn9horsesbubbles:
n9horsesbubbles Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
u made me wake up about horses, thank YOU, im writing a story about one, thanks A BUNCH!!
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:iconrakaseth:
Rakaseth Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
This was a really good guide, I totally agree on how people over-romanticize the horse.

If I may, about how long or far could a horse be made to trot/canter/gallop before it started getting dangerous? I saw you said that a racehorse when properly trained could trot for hours, but what about a normal horse?

And if you don't feed and water them right away, what do you do?
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:icondroemar:
Droemar Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2010
A normal riding horse can't gallop for more then ten minutes, probably, and canter for more then another ten. Those speeds are meant for racing; a trot is meant to cover ground. And how fit they are would affect how long they could go without foundering or dying. If you have a really fat horse that's never been ridden and eats nothing but grass, a breakneck pace might kill it pretty quick. Most horses aren't capable of traveling more than a man, really. So assume about 20-30 miles a day for something like plains, and less for thing like hills or mountains. Most cavalry soldiers alternated between a walk/trot for a mile, and would then dismount and walk for a mile. Even this didn't always save an animal from being pushed too hard, but a healthy horse bred for such hard work would do okay for the most part.
Afterwords, the horse is going to very hot. Horses have be be cooled down before they can eat or drink, otherwise they're likely to colic on you. To cool a horse down, you usually strip them of their tack and walk them around until their sweat dries and their skin is cool to the touch. Sometimes horses are "turned out", which is let loose in a small pen to amble around, roll, and cool themselves off. Only after a horse has been cooled down is it safe to feed and water them.
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:iconshiann121:
shiann121 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2011
Lines and breeding effect a horse's stamina- We have one that loves to go on pleasure rides, would take you to the ends of the earth if you'd let him- But overall, agreed. And a nice rant. :3
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:iconshiann121:
shiann121 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2011
Wish we could edit, or I would- Of course that horse likes to walk, and he would take you anywhere, but it would be at a walk. LOL
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:iconrakaseth:
Rakaseth Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow, thanks for the really in depth reply. I like to make a lot of the elements in my writing as realistic as possible, so this really helped.
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:iconelreniagreenleaf:
ElreniaGreenleaf Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Hahaha finally someone who understands! I ride and know horses reasonably well so it always really irks me to see horses in films and literature either completely uncontrollable ALL THE TIME or perfect loyal companions who would follow you to the ends of the earth. (and don't get me started on the jousting...they weren't supposed to fall off!)
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:iconsuperrara:
SuperRara Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2010
Sweet! I knew most of this, but there were a few juicy medieval tidbits that made this more than worthwhile.

The horses as cars bit was especially interesting, as I've thought the same things myself. It reminds me of this friend of mine who's scared of horses. (Perfectly understandable. Riding an old, clumsy horse down a rocky incline is not too comfortable, I admit.)

Why didn't she want to ride a horse? It has a mind of it's own. I find this a good thing, because, unlike a car, a horse won't jump blindly off a cliff if you tell it to. Usually.

Point is they have self preservation. Which bugs me when the hero has to prevent his mount from riding into danger like that. >>

And I hate it when people forget about prairie dog hole when writing about the West. In my mind at least, that'd be at the top of my list to look out for.

[/ramble]
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:iconliebegirl:
Liebegirl Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2009
LOL It's amazing how many people forget you can have a horse drop dead from running too hard/long. I get so sick of the constant galloping in books and movies. They seem to forget that, in the long run, a trot will get you there faster.

I also appreciated your de-bunking of the "Knights rode Shires" myth. *rolls eyes*

Oh, and as for the cute, cuddly warhorse stallions... I've actually heard of stallions ripping people's throats and faces if you've got a particularly evil one.

Thanks for this article. We need more horse-savvy people in the writing world.
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:icondroemar:
Droemar Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2009
Have you seen the Internet clip where the Shire bites the little girl's hair and throws her off her feet? It is AWESOME. My brother sent it to me as a looped clip, but it reminds me just how big and strong they are. And how well that would have translated to warfare.
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:iconliebegirl:
Liebegirl Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2009
Ouch. No, but I've been drug around enough by frustrated/angry/scared horses that I'm pretty respectful. I mean, when all something has to do is bump you with it's head to knock you off balance, you have to know that they could seriously ruin your day.
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:iconkreepingspawn:
KreepingSpawn Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
nailed it!! :D thnx for laying down the law.
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:iconvirtuoso-pianist-3:
virtuoso-pianist-3 Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2009
I would like to compliment you on your outstanding article. You have done some serious research, though I would like to complement a few facts.

The first real use of heavy cavalry was much earlier, among the Sarmatians and the Parthians (circa 150-50 B.C.) which is attested at the Battle of Carrhae when a Parthian army of horse-archers and cataphracts [link] practically smashed a Roman army.

The stirrup [link] was invented about 4th century A.D. It was conducive to the better handling of horses, especially for horse-archers, but not completely necessary when wielding a lance (especially the Sarmatian kontos, which was 5-6 meters long!).

Hope you found this informative! :iconwhysoseriouscatplz:
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:iconisladecielo:
IsladeCielo Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2009  Student Photographer
This is really, really good. I myself being an equestrian, can see how much you've put into this. About the part where you said how horses won't loyally stand by you like a dog would, defend you or protect you from the rain...My riding instructor always tells me something similar....(if a horse has a best friend and they're always together and they're such good friends and one day, the friend is attacked by a lion, the horse will just think "Oh well he was a good friend" but he won't risk his life to save his friend.) Once again I truly enjoyed this rant,:clap: to be honest this is the second time I've read it I was looking all over DeviantArt trying to find it, and now I'm going to read your other rants. :wave:
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:iconhelenaely:
HelenaEly Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2009
as a person who has had her pinky and ring finger broken by a SHETLAND PONY, I totally agree with everything of the above.
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:iconharlequinraven:
HarlequinRaven Featured By Owner May 31, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! My horse is what I like to call a "puppy-dog horse" in that he is extremely devoted and follows me around like a puppy dog.
However, I could hardly see him dragging me from a burning barn, for example. More likely, I would be trying to drag HIM from a burning barn and keep him from bolting back in. Horses see their stall as a familiar safe place, so even if it is burning down, they might try to stay in it or run back to it for the familiarity in a frightening situation.

He will also gladly go follow someone else if they have something especially tasty (such as peppermints...bet a lot of people did not know horses LOVE peppermints) and I do not have a similar offering.

I love dogs, but I would not trade my horse for all the dogs in the world. They are different, to be sure, but they can be equally wonderful and devoted companions.

My husband had a mare that was possessive of him, for example. A former girlfriend tried to get near them, and the mare hit her in the chest with her head. Knocked her right over. Then the mare went back to "snuggling" with my husband. My horse has a mare that is like that with him, much to the dismay of the stallion in the same mudlot (especially since the mare used to be HIS "girlfriend"). She is so possessive that she will drive the other mare AND the stallion away, preferring my gelding. (Go Tommy, you lady's man, you!) This is another reason that I think mares would be better war horses. Geldings are more tractable, sure, and I prefer them for pleasure riding and showing, but mares have that possessive temperament that COULD make them protect their rider if they were closely bonded with them. If you get between a possessive mare and her chosen obsession (be it another horse or her rider), watch out! You just might get trampled. At the very least, you are likely to get a nasty bite or a very solid head to the chest. Believe me...both hurt...like hell.

Even when a horse is being playful and cracks you in the chest with its head, it knocks the wind out of you. Stepping on your foot can result in broken bones, even if they step right off. A kick can easily kill you. So can a bad fall. Horses are amazing, intelligent, loving animals, but they can also be extremely dangerous.
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:iconwhats-your-pointe:
Whats-Your-Pointe Featured By Owner May 19, 2009
That. Was. Awesome. 'nuff said.
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:iconsilverbellsabove:
SilverBellsAbove Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2009
YES YES YES YES.

OH MY GOSH BATMAN, YES.

As an equestrian fantasy nerd horsemanship history buff, I salute you.

If only for saying that horses are not cars. I can understand video game mechanics that let you kick a horse FOREVER to make it keep going, but NO. JUST NO.

THANK YOU. TO THE Nth POWER.
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:iconmikeywolf:
Mikeywolf Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2009
Thanks! This is really great information, and stuff that I'll probably need soon. I'm toying with a story set in medieval times where one of the characters has a war horse; he used to be a high-ranking soldier.
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:icondisgruntledbadger:
DisgruntledBadger Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2009
Informative, witty, and beautifully written.

You rock.
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:iconredmagesalyre:
Redmagesalyre Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2009
Being someone who has drawn horses (and ridden them a little), but also shakes my head at the way people draw tack and barding (I finally found a word for it and yet in all of the medieval/armor books I've read, they never call it that), especially when I look at some cartoons or illustrations and see a saddle without stirrups (I sudder at that now) or an incorrectly drawn bridle. I've stopped drawing horses without bridles or saddlry due to my research on the various components of tack and such, though I've yet to find some good books on how to draw barding that doesn't screw up on horse anatomy. And yes, horses are hard to draw, even though I used to draw them a lot as a kid I have to look back and see all of the mistakes I did. I wish that people would get some research done on the actual creature before they start drawing them,something I pointed out about how reindeer are depicted in popular culture as looking like dainty hoofed white-tailed deer.

Thank you, and I want to thank myself for never ever drawing in the way of Dreamworks/Disney, though I will confess that many of my horses have non-horsey eyes *sighs*
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:icondroemar:
Droemar Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2009
Barding IS extremely hard to find reference for! The only thing I own is an armored McFarlane figure of a barded black horse. It's fairly accurate.
I think I just got an idea for my next tutorial ...
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:iconredmagesalyre:
Redmagesalyre Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2009
I decided to do a search for tutorials on horse armor and couldn't find any. So that would be a great tutorial if you did one.
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:iconpaperiapina:
Paperiapina Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2008  Student General Artist
Thank yous for making this a deviation! ^^ Not really for the ranting of it (which is amusing to read, nevertheless), but it really has loads of information which is really hard to come by. Now I can find it from my favs when needed. Much appreciated!
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:icondroemar:
Droemar Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2008
You're welcome.
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:iconmistyeyedreamer:
mistyeyedreamer Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2008
Awesome rant! I used to ride horses during the summer, so I had to know most of the saddle terms, but everything else was pretty cool to learn about. Especially the different types of horses.
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:icondarkbell:
DarkBell Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2008
I read this whole thing
Why?
I have no idea.
It was a good rant though, you sound intellectual unlike others who are all like WTFYOUSUCKGTFOYOUHAVENOLIFE...
Meh etc xD
but yeah interesting.. even though.. I probably won't remember any of this
(and animals are very hard to draw -realistically- in general)
Now I must say
HORSIEESSSSSSSSSS!
:D
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:iconaokamidu:
aokamidu Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2008
... ooh, it's just as well I don't actually draw horses or in fact write anymore... heh, you already pointed out several pitfalls that I had long believed to be true... heh.. I guess I'm a bit anti-equine since I got bitten by one as a kid, but heh, you really opened my eyes to a lot of horsey stuff that I didn't even know... and t'think I've got a pair living close by... heh, this has definitely made me seen horses in general and in literature in a whole new light... and once again, you've proved that research is paramount if you want to depict something accurately too.

Certainly food for thought Dino-- erm Horse Expert. Yes indeed... thanks for the heads up, I think i'll refer to this as a guide if I ever do anything horsey, ya know?

OK, I'll back off now.
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:icondroemar:
Droemar Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2008
Hey, I may draw them endlessly, but horses can be Assholes. I've owned about 5 in my life, and only 1 has ever not been an Asshole. So I totally get the anti-horse thing. It gets to me when I see people who are like "Horses are ponieeeez! Hugs and luv!" It's like "Uh, no. You've probably never even smelled one in real life, have you?"
Hence the blog.
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:iconakala:
akala Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2008
I never understood why you would want to ride a stallion...well...anywhere.

This reminds me of the rants I had when I was little about how the Jurassic Park dinosaurs in the movie were in fact much closer to Deinonychus than Velociraptor and by God, I had the books to prove it.
I was always a dino girl more than a horse girl.

Oh, the number of fantasy stories in which the horse, by any logic, should have died. Mostly by overheating, laming it, or giving it colic.

Most especially by overheating/laming cause I haven't really read many books where they bother to acknowledge that horses eat a lot. =/
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:icondroemar:
Droemar Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2008
I'd be hard pressed ot say if I was bigger on horses or dinos, but I guess my icon shows that dinos may have won out. I do remember being put in the corner at Sunday school for insisting that dinos and people didn't exist together in a happy garden. They were fun, fond memories.
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:iconakala:
akala Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2008
Silly Sunday school people, of course dinos and people wouldn't coexist peacefully. =/
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:icondroemar:
Droemar Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2008
I know!
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:iconlycanthrope818:
Lycanthrope818 Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
*sniffle sniff* thank you... it's been weeks since i've slept, i wanted to fave your rants so badly. i-i'm so happy!

lmao
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:icondroemar:
Droemar Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2008
There, there. You're very welcome.
Heh.
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:iconwynnex:
Wynnex Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2008
I love horses but I found this highly entertaining nonetheless
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:iconbacklashmage:
BacklashMage Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2008
This is great! I ride horses as well and when I read stories where they're essentially big dogs, I get annoyed. I also get downright frustrated when someone who doesn't ride tries to tell me that stallions are better than geldings. Yeah, for breeding purposes and whistling. That's about it!
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:iconashitakafirefoot:
AshitakaFirefoot Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2008
Horses suffer in any artistic genre if not properly researched, as would any subject. I used to get riled about this when I would come across lazy and/or ignorant handling of an animal so close to my heart(Proud horsey mom for near 20 years). But as I've trained more and more people in the horse industry I've relaxed about it and now it registers only as mild annoyance. I do however, wax poetic on movies/novels/artwork that handle the animal with the intelligence and common sense it deserves. And yes, George R. R. Martin's description of the outcome of a joust between a mare in heat and a stud was masterful. Other works that deserve some credit for effort are Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series(where horses are recurring characters rather than scenery and they have distinct personalities that affect the story without succumbing to the "dog" routine) and Richard Adams' Traveller, which tells the story of the American Civil War from Robert E. Lee's horse's point of view.
Kudos to the ones who try, and a shake of the head to the ones who are too lazy to make the effort!
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:iconyrior:
Yrior Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2008
Aah, thanks for the information and the entertaining read! x3
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:iconkanabi-angeni:
Kanabi-Angeni Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2008   Photographer
I like it!!! You're rant made an equestrain very happy after seeing many sad drawings!
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:icontehwolvie:
TehWolvie Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2008  Hobbyist
Whoa, were did all that come from? Who ticked you off? I enjoyed the rant by the way, very informational as opposed to others I have read.
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:icondroemar:
Droemar Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2008
Years of bitterness.
Or boredom. I can't remember which.
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:iconsvenbjornson:
SvenBjornson Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2008
Great information! I'm in no way, shape, or form an expert on horses, so this was a really beneficial read. One comment: Alexander the Great was not a Roman leader. He was Greek.
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:icondroemar:
Droemar Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2008
Touche'! But he still didn't have stirrups.
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:iconsvenbjornson:
SvenBjornson Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2008
Very true. You win! :)
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:iconmarisale:
Marisale Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2008
This is just utterly brilliant. D:

(felt such a nerd for knowing what a jennet was when she was a kid)

*bow*
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:icondroemar:
Droemar Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2008
I would have bee your friend. I knew what a Deinonychus was.
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